My Paper Daydreams

A Secret Place.

2012-01-21T12:19:00.000-08:00

Oftentimes it's just really nice to be in a place with no other human sounds.

-"A Secret Place", colored pencil, acrylic paint, charcoal, 11" x 11".

Two Spirits Meeting.

2012-01-19T06:33:00.000-08:00

-"Two Spirits Meeting", acrylic paint, colored pencil, and white charcoal over an old painting, 11" x 11".

I find the more often I paint, the more I get to journey and daydream that I am physically exploring the places I'm painting. This was a beautiful place filled with blueberries and minty-smelling moss beds.

Bee.

2012-01-16T10:43:00.001-08:00

-"Bee", graphite, acrylic, and white charcoal over an old painting, 6" x 6".

Explorer.

2012-01-16T10:35:00.001-08:00

In my dreams I'm either running from something, cleaning/organizing something, or exploring somewhere.

Last night I was an explorer.

-"Explorer", graphite, acrylic, and white charcoal over an old painting, 5" x 7".

Red Branches and Leaves.

2012-01-06T12:36:00.000-08:00

-"Red Branches and Leaves", acrylic paint, pastel chalk, oil pastel, and colored pencil on an old painting, 11" x 11".

Home in the Moss.

2012-01-05T08:21:00.000-08:00

-"Home in the Moss", graphite, pastel, and charcoal transposed over an old drawing, 11" x 11".

I am working working working to try to find a new purpose for piles of old paper and drawings that I will never need. All of the 11"x 11" paintings I've been doing are a part of this new series. Recycling! These old drawings bring an interesting aspect to my new attempts to illustrate over top of them. They bring about new shapes and textures that I wouldn't otherwise discover. Can you see the model in the painting? She is hidden underneath my new marks.

Into the Puddle.

2012-01-05T08:12:00.001-08:00

-"Into the Puddle", acrylic paint, pastel, graphite, and colored pencil over an old painting, 11" x 11".

Rainfall.

2012-01-05T08:10:00.000-08:00

-"Rainfall", acrylic paint and white charcoal over an old painting, 11" x 11".

The day I painted this, I had almost lost my best friend.

Buried.

2012-01-05T08:08:00.000-08:00

-"Buried", graphite, gesso, and acrylic paint over an old painting, 11" x 11".

This conversation broke my heart a little.

A Shell.

2012-01-04T17:37:00.000-08:00

-"A Shell", acrylic over an old painting, 11"x11".

Drinking tea tonight.

2012-01-04T15:55:00.001-08:00

I can't stop thinking about the magic that is all around us on this planet.
As a child, I moved through this lens. The world was beautiful, and we played out in the woods all summer to explore it. Somewhere, somehow, growing up takes that feeling away from us. When I finally pried my eyes away from the television, from the social drama that had taken over my life and the politics, I realized that such a simple thing existed right under my own two feet. There is such incredible beauty in every leaf and every stone.
Why is it so hidden from us in the first place?

I know now that it was never hidden at all, and is in fact, the loudest thing in the universe. It screams. I can only hope that my work helps to bring people closer to hearing this or connects me with people who are already there.

The Fly and the Snail

2011-12-15T07:47:00.001-08:00

-"The Fly and the Snail", photograph of a still life set up in my paper theater, moss, clay mushrooms, wire, acrylic illustration behind, found fly.

Display.

2011-12-07T07:42:00.000-08:00

-"Display".

I don't want to be here anymore -- I have no energy.
I need go on an adventure soon.

What should I do?
Where should I go?
What would you suggest?

Inspiration from Joan Mitchell.

2011-11-21T07:41:00.000-08:00

(source)

I have loved Helen Frankenthaler for years but hadn't stumbled across Joan Mitchell until this morning. Her paintings are expressive, emotional, and violent at times. She was an essential member of the American Abstract Expressionist movement even though she lived in France. She has often said that she wanted her work "to convey the feeling of the dying sunflower". Death and beauty are consistent themes throughout her life, and I can't stop looking.

Works-in-progress.

2011-11-14T08:01:00.000-08:00

-"Mushroom Study"
This piece is not finished, but I like where it's at. It might change completely by tomorrow.

This is a storyboard I've been working on. Hopefully I'll have a finished book by the end of the month. Exhaustion.

More typefaces.

2011-11-02T09:41:00.000-07:00

-"Fall Leaf Alphabet", photos of fire bush leaves.

-"Leaf Alphabet", painted and scanned.

Twig Alphabet!

2011-10-30T12:49:00.000-07:00

-Twig Alphabet

New clay cups.

2011-10-18T10:27:00.000-07:00

I'm exploring a looser way of creating my ceramic forms after I decided that the properties of wet clay are enchanting and inescapable. I want to capture that essence of loose, drooping, spinning clay in my pots. I want to be rid of the sterility that the perfect circle often brings. Geometry and a perfect line are beautiful, but also represents humankind's need to conquer and control nature. Clay is of the earth and I want to glorify all that I find beautiful about it through my forms. This is taking over my life right now, but I hope to send pictures of finished pieces to you soon.

The Blueberry Spirit.

2011-09-02T11:37:00.000-07:00

I found her dying under the shadow of a blueberry bush, a contented smile upon her face. This was surprisingly not a dream that scared me, but made me feel better about us all. She was beautiful.

-"Blueberry Spirit", acrylic, pastel, charcoal, 28" x 28".
For Sale, ask for details.

My 3rd grade sketchbook is filled with things like:

2011-08-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

A new tunnel book.

2011-08-11T18:35:00.000-07:00

-"A Small Fairy", tunnel book.

I really am a starter of many things and finisher of few. But I started and actually finished this little one scene tunnel book today thanks to a little motivation from my new-found friends Melody and Harmony. We hang out once a week in Melody's painting studio, and it really has been helping me to be inspired. You can find Melody over at her blog. She's a wonderful painter and bookmaker.

Crowded living conditions.

2011-07-26T17:10:00.000-07:00

This is my cozy little nest! So I'm not currently working in this studio, only my tiny bedroom for the summer, and I'm really starting to miss my space (not only the great energy of the place, but I had a little more space, too). Here are some of the photos from the end of the Spring semester. A lot of these pieces I have yet to share online because I never had the time to take good photos of them.

Here are some of the final drawings I did for my Drawing IV class. I investigated psychological and emotional portraits of myself and the people around me, trying hard not to over think or plan out what the end result would be. This body of work resulted in a lot of honesty, organs, wolves, and quite a few big drawings.
.

This is part of my Ceramics IV final. (I really need to get good photos of these pieces, the detail in them is so important to really knowing them).

One of my peers asked the question during the critique, "So where can you go with these platters? I feel like this type of work that you've been doing is done now and it has nowhere else to go."
It was a really good question. I've been working on narratives since I started drawing. I paused a moment to think of a response, realized that I had no clue, and I kind of figured it out as I answered back. This type of work has thousands of possibilities. Even by switching around the order of the platters I can change the story they might evoke in the viewer. I can change the shape they make on the wall, add new pieces to the puzzle, maybe even draw more of the story on the drywall behind them. I could draw on a sheet of clay and secure it to the wall, or maybe thin panels that hang suspended from the ceiling and change as the light shines through them, and even bring my figures into a more sculptural realm.
I was suddenly very excited to draw on more clay to say the least, but it was the end of the semester then! I'm now locked out of the studio and missing clay terribly. But this next semester promises to be inspiring.

The Moss Bed.

2011-07-22T05:27:00.001-07:00

I had a dream that I was there and you were there, too. Or was it you? I actually have no idea who it was. I hope it was you. It is hard for me to remember because the few times that I've actually gotten to walk through that world have been very detailed and filled with content but I'm always left confused and unable to conjure any real memories of it afterwards.

What I do remember is that I was with someone else. They were following behind me as we sneaked through the dark woods. I felt a strong desire to turn around and to see the face of this friend but for some reason I knew I shouldn't. I wish I would have anyways, but that may have changed things.

We climbed through the damp boulder field that lined the forest floor where buttercups and mushroom caps folded under our cold feet. Traveling like this was slow but we were both a little tired anyways so the slow pace was needed. Enticed by the softness of a huge moss bed cupped within the toes of a big tree, I lay down and let my hurting feet rest. I soon realized that this was the softest bed I had ever felt and as soon as my weight was fully settled on the green mattress it bid me sink deeper. This place felt strange. I looked down at my feet which still felt cold and realized with a start that my toes were claws and that this place was changing me. Or was it revealing who I really was? (like peeling off the many skins of an onion to reveal the heart in the middle). Did you have claws too? I couldn't see you as you were still wandering around somewhere else and my head was too heavy to lift from the moss.
I then felt frightened. What if you saw my claws and disapproved?

Marcus Gunnar Pettersson's strange brain.

2011-07-20T15:45:00.000-07:00

I find the work of Marcus Pettersson to be strange, funny, and a little scary (in a delightful way). When I first started following his work online he was busy doing these drawings he called his "coffee drawings". He would spill coffee onto the page and use that organic shape to create and draw skewed bodies, bizarre characters, and fun landscapes. These seem to have really influenced the way he develops characters today as now he carries with him those wonderfully distinct shapes and uses them in his illustration work. Check out his extensive body of work here -> link. He is fantastic. You'll really enjoy it.

-"filmfestival poster".

-"XQX2".

-"the room".

The Work of Cody Hudson.

2011-07-20T06:52:00.000-07:00

-"Long Cold Winter".

-"Too Late to Keep the Change, Too Late to Pay".

-"Spacetime thick #1".

I stumbled across Cody Hudson's work yesterday and found myself laughing out loud at his fantastic sense of humor. We all need more of that. Check out his website -> link.

Restaurants.

2011-07-17T16:59:00.000-07:00

I work in a restaurant. First off, I would advise everyone to avoid doing so. It is guaranteed to suck the very life and inspiration out of your overworked bones!

Today was miserable because I could not connect with any of the people who walked through the front door at all because they were not willing to even acknowledge that I am another human being. I'm actually finding that this is the main reason why bad days are bad. I can get desperate for interaction after seven or eight hours of standing up at the podium and walking people back to their seats over and over and over again (oh the many joys of a part-time job). But often people wont even make eye contact with me while I gather their menus, silverware, and inform them on what type of soup the restaurant is serving today. Sometimes people even interrupt me because they just want to sit down and order their food, like I'm just talking to them about soups because I want to and am not required to do so by my job description. I like to make these people feel uneasy with my friendliness (passive aggressiveness is really my only weapon). Why is it so hard for you to offer me something as simple and delightful as your eye contact when I'm talking to you?

Oh, here we go, watch this. I am halfway through telling a mother and her child about the mildly okay BBQ chicken we're serving today. This lady stares dully into the dining room, ignoring both my conversation and eyes while I ask her if she wants a kids' menu for her son (it's funny, he also has learned to avoid my gaze). I'm feeling like such a brat, so I shift my head two inches to the right where her eyes are floating over the room and they (in a panic) dart even further away from me as soon as she realizes that there is a pair of eyeballs in my head. My "enjoy your meal" is returned with her muttered "you, too", the first thing she has said to me yet -- she has been all head nods up to this point. "You, too?" Well, Mam, "I'm not actually the one eating". You didn't even hear what I said in the first place. Have a good day.

I really wish people would feel more alive! Don't they realize that they have no time to waste? That they only have a limited number of minutes left to be alive on this planet and that it is silly of them to waste their time ignoring other human beings? And that they might find some sort of meaning in connecting with these other creatures? I only wanted to exchange smiles and have a polite conversation today. I don't know, maybe I'm just feeling bitter though. That's what restaurants do to people after all.

Things that I have loved:

2011-07-05T09:01:00.000-07:00

Rotting leaves,

peeling birch bark,

and gorgeous moss babies.

In the other world, I am feeling wonderfully alone in this quiet house. Art things are spreading across the floor and I'm excited to share them with you soon.
I hope your day is filled with lovely things.

Finding "The Lost Boy".

2011-06-28T14:23:00.000-07:00

- "The Lost Boy", gesso and acrylic over a recycled silkscreen, 15" x 24".

I really enjoy this piece and I really enjoyed making it. It describes exactly how I feel sometimes. The base of the piece is an old silkscreen print my friend gave to me because it didn't fit into her edition. The little bits of color poking through from that print really make this special I think.

I've been making plate sets this week.

2011-06-21T09:18:00.000-07:00

They are up-cycled plates and quite charming with tea and cookies. Sometimes I just hate making plates and things out of fresh clay because once you fire the clay in a kiln, it will never go back into the Earth. Firing clay changes the molecular structure to the point that it will not hold water again (unless you go through a very exhaustive, expensive process) so taking existing plates from a flea market that no one really wants and reviving them is incredibly refreshing.

An Egg Frog

2011-06-20T18:02:00.000-07:00

-"Egg Frog", gesso and oil pastel on a recycled marble painting, 11.25" x 17".

I ran into many egg frogs on my walk through the woods yesterday. They hop through the piles of old leaves and mosses and are smaller than a quarter, so they are very hard to spot before you walk up to them. I was afraid of stepping on one because they would surely break under the pressure of a shoe. But this one stood still long enough for me to get his rough portrait down. (I think he was a little proud of his nice features).

Tunnel Books.

2011-06-09T12:32:00.000-07:00

I've spent a two-week summer session at Penland School of Crafts in North Carolina.

Collections of treasures have quickly grown on the windowsill above my bed, my desk, and my worktable.

I almost spent more time wandering outside in the woods than working on my projects. But I did get quite a few books done.

- "Bugs in Love", tunnel book.
We've been learning how to make Tunnel books which are a lot like miniature toy theaters. It's been fun to dissect my drawings into layers and to create real, physical space between them. I ended up making several small books, all of which are little cubbies with warm, intimate figures inside.

Exploring beautiful spaces.

- "Nesting", tunnel book.
These books are collapsible, portable, intimate, treasured objects that can be opened and will reveal their own little isolated world.

Our class.

Our dish-washing shoes drying out. Ew.

And my instructor Andrea Dezso is the most magical human being I've ever met (I think I may have said something similar in my last post). You can see her huge body of work at her website.

I'm so thankful for this adventure. This really was my first solo adventure, Penland being 10 hours away from home, and I loved every minute. What a cheesy thing to say, but I'm really excited about my life and my future after this because I realize I can technically get up and travel across the country whenever I want and there are sure to be amazing places and wonderful people to meet.

This Week at Penland School of Crafts

2011-06-03T08:42:00.000-07:00

"The Meadow" out in front of the school. They carve swirling pathways through the long grass for us to wander through at night. We walked through the grass last night at midnight and this field was so full of fireflies; it was incredible!

The Books and Paper studio. I'm taking a class called "Tunnel Books" with the lovely Andrea Dezso. I'll have to post some of her artwork when I have more time (she really is the most magical creature I've ever met, I love her). There is beautiful sunlight that comes up over the hill in the morning and lights the studio.

And there is always someone here working. It's refreshing being in a place where everyone's obsessed with making and creating and sharing.

A sneak peak at one of the tunnel books I've made here.
Have a wonderful week everyone.

Hans Silvester's book, "Natural Fashion"

2011-05-20T10:10:00.000-07:00

I have seen real-life fairies! I knew they were real, it's just now I have the proof: "Natural Fashion: Tribal Decoration from Africa" by Hans Silvester.

Little children, painted faces, serious eyes, and teeth just peeping out from behind smiling lips. Grasses wrapped around chins, flowers and mushrooms dangling from closed mouths. Antler headdress, berry crowns. Real-life fairies. There is so much beauty in the world.

Paintings and Rain.

2011-05-16T10:12:00.000-07:00

I wish I were a mermaid.

I would float on the ocean floor

collecting sticks and seathings.

That's all I'm really doing right now anyways

Floating around and collecting things off of the floor.

- "Feeling", acrylic and charcoal on canvas, 16" x 20".

It has been raining for days. I'm keeping myself locked up here making things out of old paintings. Much of the past day was spent sitting out in the rain and that was refreshing -- nature is just the most charming thing I know. And then I come in to paint and think that it's so funny that at one point not too long ago I spent all of my summers trying desperately to get myself to draw at least once a day, now it is all I want to do. It's the only thing keeping my interest.

"Under the Leaves", acrylic and charcoal on canvas, 16" x 20".

I'm determined to not only lessen my impact as an artist on the environment but also to find some use for all of these failed projects burying me in my work space. So I'm gessoing over nearly everything not worth keeping and re-using the surface. Buying new paper will probably not be necessary for ages.

Honesty.

2011-04-13T10:58:00.000-07:00

-"Honesty", charcoal, colored pencil, gesso, on recycled illustration board, 30"x40".

Yesterday I was standing
with my naked feet burning
under the icy current in the creek bed,
unwilling to move because
I needed Winter to chill my feverish bones.
Everyone is too willing to hurt one another.
Me, you, Everyone.

I think if we thought about what life is, what it truly is, then we would never have gotten to this point.

It just seems too fleeting and fragile in front of such recklessness.

Someone told me last week that "kindness and love is the way to the soul" and I've never agreed with anyone more. That is where we all need to be moving towards. Be kind to counteract the evil, and be extra kind to make up for the damage already done and the damage that is to come.

Studio.

2011-03-02T17:33:00.000-08:00

A Story.

2011-02-07T17:05:00.000-08:00

Three spreads to a storybook I made last Fall. I'm assembling the spreads into an accordion book this week, and I hope everything goes well. Each of the images lines up to the next spread and functions as a very long drawing. I think I have about 14 images total.

The seclusion of the wood.

2011-02-05T17:27:00.000-08:00

-Untitled from Etant Donnes, 2010, powdered graphite on paper, by T. R. Ericsson.

I've heard a rumor that D.H. Laurence's "Lady Chatterley's Lover" is a fairly scandalous novel, but all I have read of it is this small section. I wouldn't want to read the whole book anyways; I would hate to have this quote ruined or become less haunting if it were put into context with the rest of the plot. It has been floating around among my notebooks and sketchbooks on a small scrap of paper and I have loved it all along.

"He went down again into the darkness and seclusion of the wood. But he knew that the seclusion of the wood was illusory. The industrial noses broke the solitude, the sharp lights, though unseen, mocked it. A man could no longer be private and withdrawn. The world allows no hermits. And now he had taken the woman, and brought on himself a new cycle of pain and doom. For he knew by experience what it meant."
"It was not the woman's fault, nor even love's fault, nor the fault of sex. The fault lay there, out there, in those evil electric lights and diabolical rattlings of engines. There, in the world of the mechanical greedy, greedy mechanism, and mechanized greed, sparkling with roaring traffic, there lay the vast evil thing, ready to destroy whatever did not conform. Soon it would destroy the wood, and the bluebells would spring no more. All vulnerable things must perish under the rolling and running of iron." -- D. H. Laurence in "Lady Chatterley's Lover".

Bright Bruises.

2011-02-04T09:44:00.000-08:00

The woods feel a little tragic this Winter.

The Sketchbook Project.

2011-01-17T14:45:00.000-08:00

I was lucky enough to hear about the Arthouse Co-op's Sketchbook Project and participate in the 2011 tour. You can click on the picture to learn more about this project and other projects they start (and you can participate in one, too). The Sketchbook Project is basically a touring art exhibit that behaves more like a library than anything else. Thousands of people have sent in their own sketchbooks. The books go on tour and viewers are invited to pick through tons of different books and check them out if they want to. I hope to be able to make it to one of the stops if I can this year.

For my sketchbook, I ripped all of the pages out of the spine and reassembled them into an accordion book. This project really worked as a great practice mock book for my previous accordion book (which I still haven't fully put together. I'm too scared to, really). I like this style of book because it really becomes totally interactive for the viewer; it reminds me of a cross between a toy and a movable sculpture. Also, the imagery might be familiar because I took my last painting, "That Feeling of Being Utterly Alone in the Universe" and cut it up to fit the pages of my sketchbook. I switched around some of the panels around so they would make more sense in this format, but all in all, I'm happy with my decision.

Exploring beautiful places.

2011-01-16T09:50:00.000-08:00

That Feeling of Being Utterly Alone.

2011-01-13T06:32:00.000-08:00

- "That Feeling of Being Utterly Alone in the Universe", acrylic paint, colored pencil, conte crayon, 22" x 30".

that feeling of being utterly alone in the universe,
when the milky way bears down on you and threatens to envelope you,
when all you want to do is to scream your lungs out but you are stunned into silence by the utter weight of the feeling,
the universe is proven gorgeous, powerful, and dangerous all at the same time.
and you are in love with it all.
these are the moments when God feels real and unarguably so.

Gentleman Bags: the Lion and the Bear.

2011-01-11T12:22:00.000-08:00

Making happy, little things has been making me really happy lately.

Out in the weeds today.

2011-01-04T16:58:00.000-08:00

I just want to be a good human being. None of us are perfect, and I'm certainly far from it, but nature helps me to feel like it might be possible to become a genuinely good person. It just feels so good to be out in the weeds.

p.s. I've also been working like crazy. I have two commissioned projects I'm trying to get finished before the semester starts in a couple of weeks and a few fun personal art things I've been making... such as this debonair bear. Many more gentlemen to come.

Bowls and plates.

2010-12-28T11:50:00.000-08:00

Cups.

2010-12-27T15:52:00.000-08:00

Some pottery and bad luck.

2010-12-27T14:26:00.000-08:00

The first image is a series of painted plates. I had a lot of bad luck with the kilns this semester. Almost nothing came out like it was supposed to, and I actually had one kiln load misfire twice and finish baking on the third try. The glazes turned out hideous after all of that abuse, as would be expected, so instead of wasting all of the materials and time I put into the ceramic plates that were ruined, I painted them instead. I like the control I can get with traditional materials better than glazes, which are temperamental and devious at best.

In the studio.

2010-12-06T09:22:00.000-08:00

Here's my new illustration project. I've basically been in this studio for the past four days nonstop, but it feels good to see the pages wrapping around the room. Also, the studio space itself is newly acquired as well. It's changing everything about how I make art. I really work best if I have a working space that is separate from my living space.

I hope all is well with you. Today was the first day I saw snow this winter, and I can tell that it's going to be a good season.

The start of an accordion book.

2010-11-28T17:02:00.000-08:00

I love when the leaves sit in the elbows of the sidewalks. They make me think of magical things.

I dozed in my sisters bed while she sat in front of her sewing machine working on her latest project. In her room, music is always playing like a soft murmur, and a warm, dull light barely reaches the corners of the ceiling. We have the best conversations, we really do. I cried into her pillow because I wanted to stay right there in that moment for a while longer. I love memories like that.

But the holidays are over before anyone knows it. They have left me madly in love with coming home to a warm house full of laughter and now I'm anything but eager to go back to the daily grind. What I really want is to sit on the big couch and drink a cup of coffee. I want to drink it just to drink it. Not because I'm going to stay up all night and I'll need the caffeine to keep me awake, but because I take pleasure in it. I really look forward to winter break.

But until then, I am finishing my next project (hopefully soon). It's a story about the past. And how the relationships between people are surprisingly fragile. This is going to be a book -- a really, really long book. A handmade book. A Japanese accordion book. All of the illustrations will flow together into one long, almost-sculptural piece. And I hope that it will be beautiful. I feel like it will. I'm just going to do my best to let the piece make itself. I don't want to plan everything out, I'd rather it just develop on its own. It will mean more in the end. So right now I'm drawing a little and responding, drawing a little and responding.

Caterpillar Cups.

2010-11-18T04:30:00.000-08:00

-"Caterpillar Cups", white stoneware.

Some watercolors and thoughts.

2010-11-14T14:34:00.000-08:00

I went on a hike today and discovered a sunny space. I'm in love with it. And I feel like my heart is changed today. That which used to matter doesn't matter at all anymore. My perspective is pulled back a little bit. Maybe just the sight of orange ladybugs flying around beautiful, graying moss growing on a cliff side finally sunk into my head, through the layers and layers of overexposure to advertisements, propaganda, and illogical technology. Nothing that we pretend matters, actually matters. I want to stop wasting my time doing things that don't matter and save it for the things that matter most -- creating art and people.
And I painted today.

I have a big portfolio review tomorrow, and I'm not so scared of it after all. I think I've always been really afraid of showing people my artwork because they might think I'm just silly and wont take me seriously. I think I'm okay with that fear now.

A trip to New York City.

2010-11-06T16:00:00.000-07:00

And I was at first very surprised and disappointed to find no compassion there. How could so many live in such a small compact place and yet not even make eye contact with each other? Shoving, bustling, pushing.

And then I spotted a crossing guard, thinking "that must be the worst job in the universe". He is stuck in the center of the mess, given the task of untangling the very cause of the shoving, bustling, and pushing.

But, he is smiling. He catches me watching and asks me "hello, how are you?" with the most genuine smile any human being could ever possess. I say "fine, thank you. how are you?" He replies with an even wider smile, and I know my mistake instantly. I should have skipped the generic response and said something along the lines of "thank you for changing things". Because he really has, at least for me.

Finding things.

2010-11-02T18:11:00.000-07:00

Mushrooms in a hidden place..

and at this discovery, sorrow unexpectedly bubbles up into the back of my throat. I love that today. I love feeling like I need to cry because everything is so beautiful outside. It's fall and sadness is expected. Melancholy is a direct result of the weather.. weather on the lovely dreary days where the clouds cover the sky in a light blanket of gray, when leaves rattle like bones on their branches, and the earth is moist and frigid under my feet. Avoid the concrete and experience the soft cushioning of pine needles. Nothing could be better or more humbling than this sadness right now. It wants nothing to do with society or tv shows or politics. It asks me to leave those useless things behind and I am happy to oblige.

I have a feeling that this week is going to bring with it a lot of skipped classes, wood-walking excursions, and late art-making nights. I kind of want to quit school and go exploring for the rest of my days.

((and what of isaac's confusion? did God grant him the ability to see the saving angel? or did he only see the metallic glaze in his father's eye and the dagger coming down without hope of salvation?))

The Three Little Pigs

2010-11-01T07:29:00.000-07:00

Making art cheers me up, especially cute art. :)
I threw these white stoneware dinner plates on the wheel and transferred some underglaze drawings right on top from a piece of newsprint. I really like the squished look of the linework.

Robin and Pooh

2010-10-25T19:54:00.001-07:00

I was changed forever when someone told me that in the end, Christopher Robin grows up and the Hundred Acre Woods cease to exist as a result.

"I like that too," said Christopher Robin, "but what I like doing best is Nothing."
"How do you do Nothing?" asked Pooh, after he had wondered for a long time.
"Well, it's when people call out at you just as you're going of to do it, What are you going to do, Christopher Robin, and you say, Oh nothing, and then you go and do it."
"Oh, I see," said Pooh.
"This is the sort of thing that we're doing right now."...

Then, suddenly again, Christopher Robin, who was still looking at the world, with his chin in his hands, called out, "Pooh!"
"Yes?" said Pooh.
"When I'm --- when --- Pooh!"
"Yes, Christopher Robin?"
"I'm not going to do Nothing any more."
"Never again?"
"Well, not much. They won't let you."
Pooh waited for him to go on, but he was silent again.
"Yes, Christopher Robin?" said Pooh helpfully.
"Pooh, when I'm --- you know --- when I'm not doing Nothing, will you be here sometimes?
"Just me?"
"Yes, Pooh."
"Will you be here too?"
"Yes, Pooh, I will be, really. I promise I will be, Pooh."
"That's good," said Pooh.
"Pooh, promise you won't forget about me, ever. Not even when I'm a hundred."
Pooh thought for a little.
"How old shall I be then?"
"Ninety-nine."
Pooh nodded.
"I promise," he said.
Still with his eyes on the world Christopher Robin put out a hand and felt for Pooh's paw. "Pooh," said Christopher Robin earnesstly, "if I --- if I'm not quite ---" he stopped and tried again --- "Pooh, whatever happens, you will understand, won't you?"

Remain A Child

2010-10-21T10:29:00.000-07:00

My Illustration class is teaching me to do "smart illustration" where the message is the most important aspect of the image. I wanted to represent the idea that everyone should have the freedom to remain a child, no matter what their age. From the top down is "Sleep With Your Teddy Bears", "Jump in Rain Puddles", "Eat Dessert Before Dinner", and "Climb a Tree". It's sad to think that the only reason we tend to not do childish, fun, charming things (like sledding or playing tag or building forts in the woods) anymore is because we know what society expects of us. It expects us to fill a role, and even though deep down we might not entirely agree with that role, we naturally tend to follow it.

Trust the Wolves sketch.

2010-10-08T06:15:00.000-07:00

A preview of a painting I'm working on. It's the hardest thing in the world to find time for personal projects right now, but I feel like this one will really be worth it. At the bottom is a wolf I had cut out of my sketchbook. I slapped on a thick layer of oil pastel on top of an acrylic underpainting and carved into it with a needle for my line work. I really like the effect and I'd like to use it, but the texture wouldn't be right for this particular piece. She wanted more of a "gauzy" watercolor feel, and I am just as happy to play with that as I am with this scratch art.

The Earth is beautiful

2010-10-05T18:42:00.001-07:00

"May there only be peaceful and cheerful Earth Days to come for our beautiful Spaceship Earth as it continues to spin and circle in frigid space with its warm and fragile cargo of animate life." --John McConnell, peace activist and co-founder of Earth Day.

credit

I fell in love with this quote -- it's so inspiring to read about how Earth Day was such a huge, powerful movement that brought about awareness. I want to change things -- to make people aware of how beautiful nature is! We are all too caught up in our books and our concrete buildings here at school.

I bought a bag of flower bulbs. I think I'm going to wait until midnight and sneak around this sleepy, little town planting flowers in the barren flower beds. It's my little secret.

cup-o-noodles for the third night in a row.

2010-09-26T19:15:00.000-07:00

My mother would only make us cup-o-noodles on the most special of occasions (probably because they were so bad for you). Play outside all day in the snow at my nanny's house and then strip off the boots, the wet socks, and the jackets soaked from sticky snow to come inside. She'd pour the boiling water into the styrofoam cups and we'd wait with the greatest of impatience -- glasses fogging up and noses burning from the shock of the steam.

Now I eat cup-o-noodles everyday for dinner.

And they are not nearly as filling or magical as I remember them.

But I'm not complaining. I'd rather not waste the time in trying to find/cook something else. I'd rather be immersed in my studying. I've been researching more on Italian Renaissance art, and it is fascinating. Comparing that to my Contemporary Art History class is mind-blowing because no matter what time period it is, there are artists. There are people who are thinking and molding and changing the society they live in with new, never-before-thought-of ideas. Who was the first man to think in his head "I'm going to take this pigment, smear it on the cave wall, and try to interpret what I see in nature onto a 2-dimensional surface"? Whomever he was, he was a genius. People continue to amaze me.

Sketches for "Instructions"

2010-08-10T07:55:00.000-07:00

I'm working on a couple of commissions right now, including one for a fellow deviantartist, gentlemanadventurer. She sent me a link to a copy of Neil Gaiman's "Instructions" and it stole my heart. It's such a charming poem-- strange and romantic at the same time. So I'm trying to put that same charm into my painting that I'm making for her. These are a couple of ideas:

p.s. my sketches are almost always this vague and atrocious.

Instructions
by Neil Gaiman

Touch the wooden gate in the wall you never
saw before.
Say "please" before you open the latch,
go through,
walk down the path.

A red metal imp hangs from the green-painted
front door,
as a knocker,
do not touch it; it will bite your fingers.
Walk through the house. Take nothing. Eat
nothing.

However, if any creature tells you that it hungers,
feed it.
If it tells you that it is dirty,
clean it.
If it cries to you that it hurts,
if you can,
ease its pain.

From the back garden you will be able to see the
wild wood.
The deep well you walk past leads to Winter's
realm;
there is another land at the bottom of it.
If you turn around here,
you can walk back, safely;
you will lose no face. I will think no less of you.

Once through the garden you will be in the
wood.
The trees are old. Eyes peer from the under-
growth.
Beneath a twisted oak sits an old woman. She
may ask for something;
give it to her.

She will point the way to the castle.
Inside it are three princesses.
Do not trust the youngest. Walk on.
In the clearing beyond the castle the twelve
months sit about a fire,
warming their feet, exchanging tales.

They may do favors for you, if you are polite.
You may pick strawberries in December's frost.
Trust the wolves, but do not tell them where
you are going.

The river can be crossed by the ferry. The ferry-
man will take you.
(The answer to his question is this:
If he hands the oar to his passenger, he will be free to
leave the boat.
Only tell him this from a safe distance.)

If an eagle gives you a feather, keep it safe.
Remember: that giants sleep too soundly; that
witches are often betrayed by their appetites;
dragons have one soft spot, somewhere, always;
hearts can be well-hidden,
and you betray them with your tongue.

Do not be jealous of your sister.
Know that diamonds and roses
are as uncomfortable when they tumble from
one's lips as toads and frogs:
colder, too, and sharper, and they cut.

Remember your name.
Do not lose hope — what you seek will be found.
Trust ghosts. Trust those that you have helped
to help you in their turn.

Trust dreams.
Trust your heart, and trust your story.
When you come back, return the way you came.
Favors will be returned, debts will be repaid.
Do not forget your manners.
Do not look back.
Ride the wise eagle (you shall not fall).
Ride the silver fish (you will not drown).

Ride the grey wolf (hold tightly to his fur).
There is a worm at the heart of the tower; that is
why it will not stand.

When you reach the little house, the place your
journey started,
you will recognize it, although it will seem
much smaller than you remember.
Walk up the path, and through the garden gate
you never saw before but once.
And then go home. Or make a home.
And rest.

Seashells and Golden Moments

2010-07-27T19:50:00.000-07:00

-detail of "A Collection for Summer"

When I was about four or five years old, my GramMyrtle (who passed away years ago) bought me a paper bag full of seashells at the local thrift shop. I have few distinct memories of her, but I can clearly recall sitting at her kitchen table with a bottle of pearly nail polish painting seashells with her. She would finish painting a clam shell, hold it up to the light… and we’d admire it, and then she’d pass the polish brush to me so I could do the same. We were making beautiful little things out of dusty old trinkets somebody had donated to a dusty old shop. Looking back on that warm memory, I see it as just one of the quirky, lovely, charming little things that she taught me to do. (She also kept a collection of dead bugs on the windowsill above her sink. There was a gem-colored little beetle and a honey bee. She thought they were pretty. God, I wish she were still alive… I’d do almost anything to talk to her now as an adult). I think that the little moments like painting seashells are what life is about. Sometimes (oftentimes) the golden moments are too few and far in between the messiness of life, and it takes a careful eye to spot them, but meaning can assuredly be found in tiny, beautiful little moments that are often overlooked.

And to finish the story, I found her bag of seashells today. I spilled them out on my desk, letting nature compose the still life, and painted my GramMyrtle’s seashells wherever they fell. Nature truly is more creative than I could ever be.

-"A Collection for Summer", acylic, marker, and ink on lennox, 15" x 24".

Creative Block

2010-07-24T15:38:00.000-07:00

I had a horrid creative block today. It was as if everything that I've ever learned about drawing had disappeared, and it left me floundering. Nothing I made was any good. Not even a tad bit charming because it was so poorly drawn. It was just BAD. I tried listening to a million types of music to no avail. I tried loading my system with caffeine and sugar, also to no avail. And then I tried drawing everything....animals, goatsbearscatsmonkeysdogsbirdsseagullsapony, people runningdancingswimmingsplashingstandingsleepingpullingakeyoutofabearsthroat, plantsflowerstwigstrees, buildings, outer space, underwater, everything my mind could think of, books, strawberries, fish, blocks, teeth, throats, forests, and so on.

And then I realized, that I'm not really very good at drawing at all. But I did end up making something, which can be seen below. I think I'm over it. But honestly, I can't draw very well. And this isn't a "pity me, pity me and tell me how good I am at drawing so I can feel better about myself" rant. Not at all. I'm just saying simply and calmly that I came to realization today. And I need to practice more. These type of realizations are always good.

- "Captain Cubby Bear Sailing", collaged bits of paper, watercolor, and pen on lennox paper, 11" x 15".

New Sketchbook Pages

2010-07-23T07:28:00.000-07:00

New peeks into my sketchbook, inlcuding.. a pink cactus,

a yellow cactus, and..

...a dog on a date. Working in my sketchbook is usually way easier to do than working on big projects. I have no reason to hate anything I make in my sketchbook, because it's just for sketches. There's no extravagant planning process here and consequently, it becomes my play land.

I also adore looking at other sketchbooks. Here's a few pages from an artist named Lars Henkel. His site is here if you'd like to visit. I'd suggest it.

Snails in the Summertime

2010-07-01T16:10:00.000-07:00

After spending the entire week and the last six hours of my life carrying silverware, sorting through menus, apologizing to ungrateful customers, wiping tables, yelling at servers, and forcing a smile, I came to rediscover my childhood. I could call this my own secret. As kids, my brother, sister, and I owned this creek. Every inch of these woods were explored, the waterway was kept open and free of rocks (or the opposite, blocked with rocks, always at our own discretion) and the pathway was wide. Now the trails are faint and the foliage grows up to my chin. The past half hour was spent carving out a way to get here, to my secret. My flip flop choice was probably a mistake, but here I am, sitting in this quiet place, which is seemingly untouched. Although I know it is completely different, it seems frozen in time.

I want to draw a world that is noisy and melancholy at the same time, colorful, fun, and altogether strange.

- Collage on lennox paper, 15" x 11".

Dream-inspired Drawings

2010-05-28T08:33:00.000-07:00

-"The House in the Trees"

-"Dreaming about Bones"

-"Egg Children"

-"Sisters"

These are part of a final portfolio I had to turn in for my Drawing III class this semester. The imagery I used for these pieces absolutely haunted me.

I started with a subtractive method and no plan whatsoever. Sitting in front of a sheet of black charcoal is so intimidating, but shapes start to emerge from the black and I erase more, bring things forward, push things back. Oh look! A tree, there's a tree here... and little girls, twins start popping up everywhere, in every scene. After the drawing is close to being resolved, it is surprising to look back and see all of the symbols I subconsciously placed in the composition. There are pieces of memories, dreams I've had, relationships, and specific people I've known and loved. Hopefully I can delve back into this series a little bit sometime this summer.

A Moment to Think

2010-03-28T08:28:00.001-07:00

"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." -C.S. Lewis

A Promise

2010-02-28T18:25:00.000-08:00

I am buried. I'm buried in homework and classwork and busywork. And boy am I busy. It's frustrating me; I have all of these ideas swirling around behind my temples, and no time to play with them!

Screw it. I want to make a piece of art everyday. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Whether it be a doodle, a drawing, a painting, a collage, or a photo. I want to create again! Starting today. ....

...Starting tomorrow. Yeah. Starting tomorrow. Good night!

Close the Gap

2010-02-19T16:37:00.000-08:00

I've always had this thing about other people seeing my artwork. It's always been a problem. I get so embarrassed. And people get mad at me, because they really want to see me proud of my work. Well, this explains it oh so perfectly.

Work, work, work, work, and close the gap.

Beth Cavener Stichter

2010-02-10T06:52:00.000-08:00

200 Daily Studies Installation from "tremble, shiver".

Beth Cavener Stichter just may be one of my new favorites. She's a ceramics artist who builds animal forms: foxes, rabbits, goats. They're primitive, slightly storybook, roughly-made.. the movement and motion found in her forms gives the work life. These animals are writhing, straining, bent into odd positions, as if the viewer were discovering a creature that was at the same time natural and unnatural.
I also love the texture. It seems as if she moved the clay around with her thumbs to form facial features and elbows then purposefully left those marks and troughs and ridges in the final forms. They give the faces and bodies character, depth, and personality.

"Pleasure".
"The sculptures I create focus on human psychology, stripped of context and rationalization, and articulated through animal and human forms. On the surface, these figures are simply feral and domestic individuals suspended in a moment of tension. Beneath the surface they embody the impacts of aggression, territorial desires, isolation, and pack mentality."

"Cornered Rabbit".
I gathered all of the images from her online artist gallery followtheblackrabbit.com. It's a beautiful website, especially because you can view all of her work according to which year and which series it was made in. I love when artists allow for that type of comparison, because it's always fascinating to see the progression of ideas throughout multiple years.

Little Things on a Snowy Sunday

2010-02-07T11:52:00.001-08:00

Ingredients for having a beautiful Winter day:
1. Snow. Lots of snow. Being snowed inside.
2. A hot cup of coffee or hot chocolate. Or both.
3. A warm blanket and a comfy chair.
4. Good music.
5. Free scraps of paper you dug out of the garbage last week. Great collage paper.
6. A pile of empty frames you got for free last semester.
7. A brain swirling with new ideas you want to try.

My day was perfect.

This piece is 5" x 7". It's made from recycled lennox paper, thick acrylic paint, and soft pastel pencil. The frame I picked up from a second hand shop, and it's a little beat up, but I think it somehow fits with the image.

She was collaged with bits of saved paper. I love haunting the hallways of my school late at night, because I find the greatest little pieces of trash. Someone was attempting to get rid of an entire bag of paper samples and envelopes outside of the computer lab! Why, oh why? Well, they're mine now. And I try to snatch all of the newspapers that customers at work try to throw out after they're done reading them. I think it makes for an interesting base layer in this painting. So it's newspaper, scrapbooking paper, acrylic paint, and charcoal.

Thoughts of Spring

2010-02-06T12:36:00.001-08:00

Credit

Pebbles, cave paintings, stormy weather

2010-02-05T18:32:00.000-08:00

"For the artist, the past used to be a stream; now it is an ocean. It used to be a road, now it is a forest. Tradition in art used to mean a steady sequence of change within boundaries. Today the boundaries are vague, if they exist at all. Horizons are infinite; the artist is tempted to explore in a hundred directions at once." - John Canaday in his book "Mainstreams of Modern Art"

Art history is a delicious, addictive subject. It is the very act of studying and admiring those who have come before. It helps me to see vaguely the pathways that I wish to go down, and those that I definitely want to avoid. It is inspiration.

But, what is your art influenced by? What are you influenced by? Isn't your very being comprised of everything you've ever seen, heard, learned of, and experienced? So under these rules, am I not as equally inspired in my art by Gustav Klimt as I am by the creek bed behind my house? Or by the moth that lands on my window screen? Or by the dust that gathers on the top of the mantle? Right now I love pebbles, cave paintings, stormy weather, minimalism, and modern illustration. And I'm working really, really hard to put all of these into my work. I'm trying to take every tangible and intangible influence in my life and channel that inspiration into something real and shareable. And I couldn't be more excited by it.

Fish Collages

2010-01-31T13:15:00.000-08:00

Here's more from the story.

- Paper collages.

Bird Collages

2010-01-31T13:10:00.000-08:00

- Paper collages.

I've been doing some collages for school recently using doodles and creatures from my sketchbooks, and my desk is literally covered in 2 inches of tape, shredded paper, and sharpies. I love it.

Life in the Woods

2010-01-02T13:10:00.000-08:00

"One farmer says to me, "You cannot live on vegetable food solely, for it furnishes nothing to make bones with;" and so he religiously devotes a part of his day to supplying his system with the raw material of bones; walking all the while he talks behind his oxen, which, with vegetable-made bones, jerk him and his lumbering plough along in spite of every obstacle." -Henry David Thoreau, "Walden".

Draw for Fun, Always

2009-10-30T14:03:00.000-07:00

even if the results are ridiculous.

Waterfalls

2009-10-12T19:18:00.000-07:00

Wheelthrowing

2009-10-09T14:37:00.000-07:00

I like to make things. The feeling of creating something with my own two hands is unlike any other. It makes me feel human! The feeling of warm clay spinning and forming to the inside curve of my palm is one that I eagerly get up in the early, early morning hours for. Throwing pottery on the wheel is a way of making art that seems to be so close to the earth. I'm shaping dirt between my fingers to make something permanent, functional, and beautiful. Excitement.

And this might seem like a very egotistical and arrogant thing to say, but I am only being honest: it was the first art class I've ever taken that didn't come easy for me. Of course, I've always worked hard to better my skills in anything I do, but this was different. I was flat out struggling. Ten hours in the ceramics studio left me empty-handed and close to tears, but that made me excited at the same time. It was a challenge. And now I'm proud of the fact that I'm improving. I have to remember to continue to challenge myself, or I won't grow. And art should never, ever be stagnant like that, because it's a waste if it is.

(Also, this photo was from a potter's studio in Texas. I visited over the summer, and it was a truly magical place)

2009-10-04T20:32:00.000-07:00

(detail of a new painting)

I've had way too much coffee tonight. It does things to my brain, I swear. Right now, instead of doing the mountains of homework I've got for tomorrow, I'm sitting curled up on the living room couch listening to a wasp hit his wings against the ceiling, meanwhile trying desperately to validate my existence. Again.
But I think I finally understand the meaning of life (if there is such a thing, or if such a thing is even capable of being understood). I am here to gather inspiration from the ordinary and extraordinary alike, recognize it, appreciate it entirely, and then spread the love and joy it brings me to every living being that I come into contact with afterward.

Validate my life? To whom? And for whom? That is so self-absorbed sounding. If I can inspire one person, then that's enough for me. I just want to stay awake for the next four days and do nothing but paint and love other people.

Lately, all of my inspiration seems to be coming from the people around me and the changing color of the leaves. People are so beautiful sometimes. And I can't fully appreciate that if I'm always hiding in the shelter of my circle of friends. I go places by myself more often now. And I talk to people I meet. It's a challenge (a real challenge, because deep down I'm painfully shy) to sit next to someone at the coffee shop and talk to him. But I did it. And I am so inspired from talking to that old man who shared with me decades of his life. Decades. I could possibly live decades more. I can't even imagine.

Strawberry Parrot

2009-09-05T19:41:00.000-07:00

- Acrylic paint in sketchbook, 9" x 12".

Looove this strawberry bird. Whenever I take the time out of my day to go outside and paint (and today was magnificent, I sat on the edge of a cliff and painted with that gorgeous view in front of me), my painting always seems to turn out goofy. I would guess that it'd be more nature-y, but it never is. I'm always too busy looking around me and soaking in goodness. But it's always lot of fun.

Also, art school has started up again, and I'm obsessed with a lot of things... like painting, and packing something new and exciting everyday for lunch, and rearranging the furniture in my room, and checking my email every 2 minutes, and highway driving with the windows down, and walking around barefoot, and getting up early.. really early, and Gustav Klimt, and dancing in my room when I'm alone with the music up too loud.

Imaginary Friends

2009-08-30T16:20:00.000-07:00

- Charcoal and eraser using a subtractive process on watercolor paper, 9" x 12".

A Bird House Bedroom

2009-08-29T21:47:00.001-07:00

"A Bird House". I'm really excited for this project. I get to paint a kitchen, a foyer, bathroom, library, living room, and an attic fit for a bird family! This right here is the bedroom/nursery.

- Detail shot of a work-in-progress.

My Sketchbook is Sometimes My Therapy

2009-08-28T15:43:00.001-07:00

And this is what happens in it when you make me angry. ^___^

Day 8: Thieves Sneaking

2009-07-25T07:44:00.000-07:00

- Ink on sketchbook paper, 8.5" x 11.

This one was a lot of fun. If it will hold my interest for the next couple of days, I was planning on doing one or two more of these -- a quick look at the life of a thief living with a pack of bears!

Day 7: Ambush on the Shore

2009-07-24T07:21:00.000-07:00

- Acrylic on watercolor paper, 11" x 15".

I spent way too long on this one. And there is still a lot of work to be done, but I'm bored with it. It's a little scary-looking, but it needed to get out of my brain. The frog monster helped me over my art slump.

Day 6: Red Riding Hood

2009-07-17T07:53:00.000-07:00

- Acrylic on watercolor paper, 9" x 12".

I love the wolf in this one.

Day 5: Nerds

2009-07-16T17:44:00.001-07:00

- Graphite on eco-friendly cream paper, 9" x 12".

I did another piece today in addition to the last, in an attempt to make up for all of the days that I didn't draw, ahhha. And this drawing was so much fun! This might just be my favorite piece I've ever done. And recently I haven't thought of graphite as being a medium used for finished pieces, but it really is a sophisticated drawing material, and I'm excited to continue to explore with it.

Day 4: Sea Song

2009-07-16T13:36:00.001-07:00

- Acrylic and charcoal pencil on watercolor paper, 9" x 12".

I'm learning so much about myself, what kind of colors I like, how to use different mediums together effectively (this is acrylic and chalk pastel), how to manage my time, ect. This painting took me about 5 to 6 hours, which was nice because I didn't have any other pressing plans for today.

Art is for the first time in a long time, enjoyable.

Day 3: Waking Up the Flowers

2009-07-15T20:24:00.000-07:00

- Acrylic and charcoal pencil on watercolor paper, 9" x 12".

This drawing marathon is hard! It's difficult for me to devote an entire three or four or five hours a day to making art. Even though I would love to, I have work and housework and old friends to catch up with this summer apart from painting. But today I was able to set most of that aside. I put in a good four hours of painting before I went into work, and I ran home and tweaked with it some more. I think playing with the colors was what kept me really interested and excited about this one.

Day 2: Vain Little Fairies

2009-07-14T06:53:00.000-07:00

- Acrylic and watercolor and charcoal pencil on watercolor paper, 9" x 12".

Day 1: Rapunzel Dreaming

2009-07-14T04:57:00.000-07:00

- Acrylic and india ink on watercolor paper, 9" x 12".

The Drawing Marathon

2009-07-14T04:47:00.000-07:00

I just might be the laziest person alive.
Truly. Honestly. Undoubtedly.

So I have taken on the challenge of creating a piece of art, everyday, for an entire month. I'm excited about it, because I know it will help me improve. The only thing holding me back from improving right now is the fact that I'm not motivated enough to actually do anything. But we shall see! Wish me luck!

Good Riddance

2009-05-11T15:15:00.000-07:00

I'm selling nearly ALL of my art. It's old. And it's taking up space in my room and in my mind -- both of which I can't afford to clutter right now. It will all end up on Etsy within the next week. I can't wait to be free of it all! And I can't wait to be able to put gas in my car again.

The Strawberry Weed

2009-04-12T09:34:00.000-07:00

Spring Sketches

2009-04-11T16:45:00.000-07:00

My sketches are always ugly little things, but they make me so excited to get painting again.

I Want to Go to the Beach

2009-04-01T10:36:00.001-07:00

Dear Dearest,

I want to go to the beach with you today.
I want us to skip our classes and eat sandwiches in the cold sand.
I want to watch the snow fall into the waves and dissolve.
I want to wear your hat, and
I want you to wear my scarf.
I want to hold hands and watch the snow fall at the beach before Summer takes over.
I want to add this wish to my list of wishes.

Love,
Stephanie

Two Sisters

2009-03-05T06:54:00.000-08:00

Of Branches and Blue Deer

2009-03-03T10:55:00.000-08:00

I woke up to a snowstorm yesterday.
I woke up with a smile on my face.
And then I painted ...

all day long.

Earlier this year, I had gone thrifting through a few local places and found several little old wooden frames for a few quarters each. I'm so happy I got the chance to recycle them -- and look how spiffy it looks with a fresh coat of white paint! (I am more excited about the frame than the tacky little awkward drawing inside)

And then I went to bed with a smile on my face.

I Am Not Being Silly

2009-02-23T16:58:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry. I have been doing nothing but writing this past week. I am lonely and thinking about the universe which is a pretty deadly combination of things.

This past year has made me increasingly aware of the difference between “ordinary” people and artists. It's not so much a difference in "well this group of people can draw and this group cannot", but how a person views the world in general.

I’ve seen this gap between the two groups widen as my personality, my opinions, and my life goals grow even stranger than before. I desperately want to show the world the beauty it steps over on a daily basis. I want to show everyone how beautiful a dirty puddle of water and gasoline can be in the busy store parking lot. I want to share that feeling I get when I drop my grocery bags and hunch over to get a closer look at those rainbow, melty colors that bleed together on the pavement. Those lines seem to dance and remind me of hidden gems or lost stories against the brown exhaust, and it’s a painting that can make my heart physically hurt from overload of beauty. Look at what you are missing! You just casually sidestep the puddle and miss the entire universe of color that lies bubbling on the surface.

And people who do not have that artistic perspective on life cannot seem to grasp this when I try to explain it to them! It is so frustrating sometimes. If everyone could get a glimpse of this, the world would be such a different place. I want to show this in my paintings and my artwork and my life. I’m not going to paint a portrait of your dog so you can hang it above the couch in the living room. No. I’m going to paint pictures of the dead bug bodies I collect and sell the finished product to you. You could find such beauty in it, you know ... if you learned to look past your silly little fears.

And that word "silly". My view of the world is not silly or childish, is it? Not at all. Maybe you are being silly because you never take the time to look up from your feet to actually appreciate the world like it was meant to be appreciated.

Today.

2009-02-21T13:30:00.000-08:00

Dear everybody in the entire world,

I am in love with you.

Sincerely,
Stephanie