February 23, 2009

I Am Not Being Silly

I'm sorry. I have been doing nothing but writing this past week. I am lonely and thinking about the universe which is a pretty deadly combination of things.

This past year has made me increasingly aware of the difference between “ordinary” people and artists. It's not so much a difference in "well this group of people can draw and this group cannot", but how a person views the world in general.

I’ve seen this gap between the two groups widen as my personality, my opinions, and my life goals grow even stranger than before. I desperately want to show the world the beauty it steps over on a daily basis. I want to show everyone how beautiful a dirty puddle of water and gasoline can be in the busy store parking lot. I want to share that feeling I get when I drop my grocery bags and hunch over to get a closer look at those rainbow, melty colors that bleed together on the pavement. Those lines seem to dance and remind me of hidden gems or lost stories against the brown exhaust, and it’s a painting that can make my heart physically hurt from overload of beauty. Look at what you are missing! You just casually sidestep the puddle and miss the entire universe of color that lies bubbling on the surface.

And people who do not have that artistic perspective on life cannot seem to grasp this when I try to explain it to them! It is so frustrating sometimes. If everyone could get a glimpse of this, the world would be such a different place. I want to show this in my paintings and my artwork and my life. I’m not going to paint a portrait of your dog so you can hang it above the couch in the living room. No. I’m going to paint pictures of the dead bug bodies I collect and sell the finished product to you. You could find such beauty in it, you know ... if you learned to look past your silly little fears.

And that word "silly". My view of the world is not silly or childish, is it? Not at all. Maybe you are being silly because you never take the time to look up from your feet to actually appreciate the world like it was meant to be appreciated.


    we should hang out soon though!

  2. Aw. Steph, thank you for the kind comment.
    You're view of the world isn't silly or childish. I truly believe there's a scientific difference between the one's that can describe to you the beautiful simplicity of something like..Oh, I don't know. Say, a crumbled up piece of paper or a soccer ball. Then, someone who's mind doesn't register "outside of the box" will look at it and say "that's a piece of crumbled paper" and walk away.
    Whenever I try to compare what I see with someone else, I always think of Van Gogh. Seriously, the man painted something that we see unique and fresh, while he was, maybe, just showing us what he sees.
    Perspective is all relative.
    I don't know what I would do with myself if I didn't know how to hold a pen.

  3. *nods* Artists can definately live in another world. I feel that from time to time. But that's what we're here for isn't it? To help people see the beauty that they miss? :) But then again there are things that everyone misses, even an artist.