February 23, 2009
I Am Not Being Silly
I'm sorry. I have been doing nothing but writing this past week. I am lonely and thinking about the universe which is a pretty deadly combination of things.
This past year has made me increasingly aware of the difference between “ordinary” people and artists. It's not so much a difference in "well this group of people can draw and this group cannot", but how a person views the world in general.
I’ve seen this gap between the two groups widen as my personality, my opinions, and my life goals grow even stranger than before. I desperately want to show the world the beauty it steps over on a daily basis. I want to show everyone how beautiful a dirty puddle of water and gasoline can be in the busy store parking lot. I want to share that feeling I get when I drop my grocery bags and hunch over to get a closer look at those rainbow, melty colors that bleed together on the pavement. Those lines seem to dance and remind me of hidden gems or lost stories against the brown exhaust, and it’s a painting that can make my heart physically hurt from overload of beauty. Look at what you are missing! You just casually sidestep the puddle and miss the entire universe of color that lies bubbling on the surface.
And people who do not have that artistic perspective on life cannot seem to grasp this when I try to explain it to them! It is so frustrating sometimes. If everyone could get a glimpse of this, the world would be such a different place. I want to show this in my paintings and my artwork and my life. I’m not going to paint a portrait of your dog so you can hang it above the couch in the living room. No. I’m going to paint pictures of the dead bug bodies I collect and sell the finished product to you. You could find such beauty in it, you know ... if you learned to look past your silly little fears.
And that word "silly". My view of the world is not silly or childish, is it? Not at all. Maybe you are being silly because you never take the time to look up from your feet to actually appreciate the world like it was meant to be appreciated.