Looking back this has been quite the year for me. There was more suffering and growth than I knew what to do with at times, but I am so grateful for it all.
Imagine an onion. The past twelve months were all about peeling back each layer, one-by-one, until I finally saw myself at the heart of the mess. Honestly, it was the most important thing that ever happened for me.
Inevitably, I will hurt someone just as I have been sinned against this past year. Human beings are clumsy, and we hurt each other terribly. I know what it feels like to suffer a heartache now, and I refuse to let someone feel that way because of me without doing my best to fix things first. No silence or avoidance. Human beings are worth more than that. They deserve words and tears and time, just as the transgressor probably deserves forgiveness.
The silence this past year has been maddening. It is so much harder to forgive and let go of an injustice if that friend isn't asking for you to do so, but I would much rather have my open palms than their clenched fists.
It has left me raw, ferocious, and glittering. I think I can prove that to you with one of my latest paintings (thank God for painting):
-"Valves", mixed media on reclaimed paper, 28.5" x 21".
-detail of "Valves".