December 5, 2016

Sketchbook Monday & Being Stuck

"Sketchbook: Flowers & Bits"

I hate this spread. Today was such a real struggle. Actually, this whole last week has been a struggle when it comes to being in the studio. I have to keep reminding myself that this is part of the process. I am completely stuck.
I feel so unsure, so unfocused, so critical, so unsatisfied with what I've done so far, so ready to redo and recreate everything, so UNHAPPY. My friend Alberto with whom I worked with in Syracuse said that to watch me work was "like watching trauma". I was shocked that he saw all of my anxiety which I thought I was fairly good at hiding. Though using trauma as a metaphor for what I go through in the studio is a vast exaggeration, there is a period of time that I go through which is highly upsetting. I'm not sure which direction to head, what piece to make next, or what to do with what I've already made. Everything I make looks terrible right now.

I just have to keep reminding myself that in a week or two (or hopefully less) I will accidentally wander into a process or body of work that brings me pure joy as long as I continue to power through the ugly work. For now though, time to take a break from my studio and head to work to teach a ceramics class.
I hope that your week is treating you better!

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